Breaking the Silence: Reflections on Menopause, Women’s Health, and the Power of Talking

Entering perimenopause has been a deeply personal and, at times, challenging journey for me—not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. As a counsellor, I’ve supported many women through this transition, but nothing quite prepares you for navigating it yourself. It has brought unexpected fatigue, emotional turbulence, and waves of self-reflection, particularly about how we—as women and as a society—talk (or often, don't talk) about menopause and women’s health.

I’ve been fortunate to experience this shift while working in a feminist organisation, surrounded by supportive, understanding women. We share stories, laugh, cry, and compare symptoms over cups of tea. These moments feel radical in their simplicity. They are spaces of solidarity and healing.

This is in stark contrast to a memory from my time in the corporate world. I remember experiencing a time when a colleague of mine—clearly in distress—had bled through her trousers onto her office chair. Rather than being met with compassion, our (female) manager coldly told her to clean it up and "get on with it." I remember feeling a deep unease, both for the woman whose experience was dismissed and for the manager herself— her response to the situation was clearly a product of a culture steeped in internalised misogyny. That moment stuck with me: it reflected how shame is handed down, and how essential it is that we break the cycle

Why We Need to Talk About The Menopause

Around 13 million women in the UK are currently going through perimenopause or menopause—that’s roughly a third of the entire female population. Despite this, many suffer in silence. According to a 2022 survey by the Fawcett Society, 77% of women find at least one menopause symptom ‘very difficult,’ yet nearly half haven’t spoken to their GP about it. Why? Stigma, shame, lack of awareness—even among health professionals?

And yet, things are changing.

My generation talks. We talk about anxiety, about trauma, about injustice. We are more comfortable with therapy, vulnerability, and emotional language than previous generations. I believe this cultural shift—towards openness around mental health—has paved the way for more honest conversations about menopause too.

We speak more freely about our sexual health, our mental well-being, and our bodies—not because we are inherently more enlightened, but because we grew up in the wake of generations who were expected to “just get on with it.” Many of our mothers and grandmothers lived under post-war values that equated endurance with virtue. Suffering in silence was a kind of strength. Women were expected to over-function, to keep families and communities afloat, all while hiding their pain—physical, emotional, or existential.

But something has shifted. The cultural grip of religion, particularly in how it framed sexuality and morality, has loosened. The old narratives that linked sex with sin, or menopause with shame, are dissolving. We no longer see the body as something to be controlled or silenced—we see it as something to be understood, cared for, and spoken about with honesty.

That’s why we’re having these conversations now—about menopause, perimenopause, identity, and ageing. Not because it’s suddenly become easier, but because we finally have the language and the permission to say: “This is hard,” and “This matters.” We are no longer willing to disappear quietly into this next chapter of life. We want to name it, feel it, and move through it with integrity.

And in doing so, we’re not just healing ourselves—we’re breaking patterns that have held generations of women in silence.

The Menopause Speaking to Grief and Loss

As a counsellor who walks alongside women in all stages of life, I often find that menopause is spoken about clinically—hot flashes, hormonal changes, maybe a wry joke about mood swings—but rarely do we name what it really can feel like: grief.

Yes, menopause is a biological transition, but emotionally, it can carry the weight of loss. For many women I sit with, it’s not just the end of menstruation. It’s the quiet goodbye to younger years. It’s the fading of a certain vitality, the shift in how we experience our sexuality, our bodies, and even how the world sees us.

Menopause often brings a kind of mourning for the body that once felt more predictable or sensual. There’s grief in watching your energy levels change, in realizing that your skin, your hair, and your shape no longer align with the youthful image you may have carried for decades. There’s grief in feeling invisible, especially in a culture that too often equates value with youth.

And then there is the more subtle loss—of potential, of fertility, of the role you once had or thought you might still grow into. Even if you never wanted children, or finished having them years ago, menopause can stir up complicated feelings about what’s no longer possible.

All of this is real. And valid. And worth grieving.

Grief doesn’t mean something is wrong. It means something mattered. And the loss of your younger self—the version of you that danced through the world with a different body and a different kind of confidence—is a loss worthy of tenderness and care.

Menopause, like any major life transition, asks us to re-orient, to reclaim, and to gently let go. And while there’s loss here, there’s also a deep invitation: to step into a wiser, fuller, more grounded self. But we cannot rush that. We must honour what’s being left behind.

If you find yourself surprised by the sadness that sometimes shows up in this season, know this: you are not broken. You are in the midst of a sacred transition. And you deserve space to grieve, to feel, and eventually, to rise—on your terms.

The Role of Talking Therapy

Counselling provides a compassionate space to explore the emotional impact of hormonal changes, changing identity, and the evolving roles we hold as women. Whether it’s grief for the body we once had, the anxiety that comes with brain fog, or navigating new dynamics in relationships, talking therapy helps women make sense of it all. It’s not about “fixing” menopause—it’s about honouring our lived experience.

Resources and Recommendations

For those navigating menopause or supporting someone who is, here are some useful resources:

NHS Menopause Guide: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/menopause/

The Balance App and Website (by Dr. Louise Newson): https://www.balance-menopause.com/

The Menopause Charity: https://www.themenopausecharity.org/

Henpicked - Menopause in the Workplace: https://www.henpicked.net/menopause-in-the-workplace/

Book Recommendations:

The Wisdom of Menopause by Dr. Christiane Northrup

Cracking the Menopause by Mariella Frostrup and Alice Smellie

Perimenopause Power by Maisie Hill

Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez – for context on how women’s health is often overlooked

Closing Thoughts

As I reflect on my own experience, I am filled with gratitude that we are starting to talk. That women are advocating, writing, laughing, crying, and sharing their truths. That I can sit in a workplace where I’m not shamed for sweating through a meeting or losing my train of thought. That younger women are growing up in a world where menopause is not an embarrassing secret, but a natural, shared experience.

There is still much to do. But we are not alone—and we are certainly not silent.